Richard Gere

Best known for his co-starring effort with Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman", and as the 'butt' of the joke concerning all the rampant rectal rodent rumors, Gere has two other pets-- both causes. One is his constant fight for the causes of the Dalai Lama. The fight would be easier and make more sense if he lived there, but I hear that finding a beach house with a hot tub and a pet store that's open at 2 a.m. in the Tibet Mountains is a real bitch. His other pet cause is the same one embraced by 75% of his colleagues, which is saying dumb, leftist things about current events.

Quote: "The idea of George Bush as president is unthinkable." (said just before the election)

Anti-quote: Hollywood is chock full of the "unthinkable," so this shouldn't be too big of a hit for them.

Pluses: Gets the attention of women. Belongs to a religion (Buddhism) that has a "fat" version of its main religious figure, and rubbing his belly brings you good luck. This proves Gere isn't weightist.

Minuses: Starred with Winona Ryder in one of the worst movies in history, "Autumn in New York." After wrapping up filming, he learned that his wallet was missing, half of Sak's had been stolen, and he blamed republicans. He's said, ridiculously, that America has never paid attention to other people. There was a sentence after that, but I stopped listening.

Rating: Arguments get air time, but constant talk about the Dalai Lama loses people who think that "Tibet" is something you go to Las Vegas to do. "S" = medium-low

Fun fact: Anti-America left wing celluloid-sops like Gere recently voted the United States the best place in the world for anti-Americans to live.

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