Woody Harrelson

Best known as the hemp-clothes wearing environmental activist and the man who played "Woody" on "Cheers" (producers wanted to give him a name easily remembered just in case he smoked one of his shirts between takes). In 1996 Harrelson was arrested along with 8 other bong water bathers for climbing the cables on the Golden Gate Bridge to protest the cutting down of California Redwoods, which tangled traffic for hours. The group wanted the government to acquire all 60,000 acres of a forest in California, instead of the 7,500 agreed upon. Woody and his Acapulco Golden children were fined. It probably would never occur to these hand-rolled bluntheads that if they'd all pool the money they waste on fines, they could have bought the 60,000 acres for themselves.

Quote: "One of the meanings of compassion is shared pain...let's all share our pain."

Anti-quote: I wish the drivers who were delayed for hours on the bridge by his protest would have started the 'pain sharing' process by beating the THC out of his vacuous head.

Pluses: Playing the sidekick role in the upcoming Tim Burton movie, "Batman and Munchies." Only trying to go to jail so he can be with his father.

Minuses: Home is filled with so much second-hand dope smoke that his housekeeper just lays on the couch all day, giggling uncontrollably at Phyllis Diller on Hollywood Squares. House remains irretrievably messy, matching Woody's brain.

Rating: If you're the type who buys black lights by the gross and always describe Cheech & Chong as "snubbed by the Academy", then Harrelson may make sense to you. "S" = High (actually, it's 'low', but by 'high', I mean the people who are listening to him)

Fun fact: Medellin Cartel refers to him as "our meal ticket."

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