The Electric Railroad They tell me thet they're going ter run a sort o''lectric train From Grand Rapids to Grand Haven, and oll cut across my lane. I want yer all to hear me now, and harken t'all I say; Fer if they try ter run that hi-fa-lu-tin thing my way, I'll dynamite 'em certain, or in somehow do 'em harm, I wont have that 'ere lightnin' flashin' on my chicken farm. Yer know that feller Dawkins that is farming by the mill ? Jist ask him 'bout the lightnin', fer it struck his brother Bill, And knocked the life right out o' him-laid him deader than a nail, And then they think o' buyin it fer running on a rail. I kant see what's got in em, cause fer me ther ain't no charm, I wont have that ere lightnin' flashin' on my chicken farm. I know its scientific an' some people think it smart, Ter have the thing ter pull 'em, stead o' riden on a cart. They say we "we mus' be stirrin', -an-'the scheme oll make a hit." "We farmers is too old"-an-"the young mus' manage it." I'm waitin' fer the'r hittin', an Ill raise a big alarm Ef enny of em try ter run across my chicken farm. Why, the people oll be stricken, all the hosses run away, The milk all gittin' sour, lightnin' makes it spile that way. The hands instead o' plowing, oll be ridin' on the thing, An' any amount o' trouble yer the pesky thing oll bring. I tell you what I'm kickin' and oll raise my mighty arm, If any of em try ter run acrost my chicken farm. --Henry Lippincott. From The Coopersville Observer; Fri. Apr. 17, 1896